After her outburst on GMTV, a psycologist has denounced Heather McCartney as clearly unbalanced. Sir Paul has phoned in saying normally a couple of beer mats under her left foot normally does the trick......

pmsl      

  funny... real funny!! mind you.. paul McCatney once walked in to their bedroom one night to find one leg was on the bed and the other was on the dressing table!! he said to her "you don't have to open them that wide for me heather..."    the old ones are the best......

It was only last xmas eve that Paul McCartney had gone shopping, leaving Heather home alone....so she decides to go hunting for her xmas pressies off Paul....eventually, the only thing she can find is a beautifully carved wooden leg, hidden in the back of the wardrobe (as you do...), when Paul arrived home later in he evening, well, she cant keep quiet about it..."Paul.." says she, "while you were out, I couldn't help but look for my pressies, and as nice as it is, all I could find was THIS". She shows him what she found. "A new wooden leg aint much of a gift...IS IT??" she blurts.....

"Oh, dont worry love.." Paul says...... "Thats just a stocking filler!"

your jokes are FAB , PMSL AGAIN !!!!!!!!!!!!

News reports have confirmed that Paul McCartney has separated from his
wife Heather Mills- McCartney.

Mrs Mills- McCartney is said to be distraught over the split "He has
been my crutch for so long!!" She said in an earlier briefing, "I have
no idea why this has happened, I'm stumped"

She's reported to be making frantic efforts to keep the split as civil
as possible.

"She's running around in circles", according to a close friend, "she
will need all the support she can get its not like its easy to walk out
on a relationship like this"

It is not known whether a pre-nuptial agreement was signed prior to the
marriage, Paul McCartney is one of the richest men in the world amassing
a colossal wealth due to his participation with The Beatles and
subsequent musical collaborations, if an agreement hasn't been signed it
is believed that she won't have a leg to stand on

Rumours abound over the split have suggested that infidelity may have
been the cause. "She's terrible" a source stated, "always trying to get
her leg over".

Another source has suggested that her battle with alcoholism was the
cause. "Macca couldn't handle it anymore" a friend said "he would get
home at night and find her legless"

Many have attributed this to a problem which started with the present
that Paul had got prior to the wedding; he bought he a  
plane but he also gave her a Ladyshave for the other leg.

heather mccartney has just failed her driving test, she left here foot on the brake!